Christ, I try to fucking please every one and I get fucking stomped on.

Yes, I started talking to Dan again, yes I am hanging out with him and his friends again, and yes, we have hugged. Doesn't fucking mean I trust him and I'm haveing a relationship w/ him.

Every one says dont be so harsh on him, dont let him be isolated. I make him my friend and give him his friends back and I'm jumped on for the same things people told me to do.

MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MINDS!!!!! I try to make every one happy and I end up getting fingers pointed at me. Mother of god I do enough to try and please every one and this is the thanks I get? Fuck you!

I wonder if this sacrifice was really worth it,

Yesterday I stormed over to Dan's w/ Lou because he typed me a message about how he thought that I cheated on him w/ Lou to try and somewhat justify what he did. This got me so enfureated that he could possibly bring another person into this that I thought it was time to confront him face to face about this because it was getting rediculous.

We had a long talk. Probably two hours of me screaming at him, crying, and then him crying and clearing more stuff up, pleading, etc etc. He was really sorry for once and I know it was a good chance he was lieing but being a taroh card reader for 8 years teaches you something very important, body and eye language. His entire posture, the fact he was freezing cold, but at one point I looked him in the eyes and he looked away. That could mean many a thing.

I decided in my head at the end I just wanted to see every one happy. Andrew was caught between two people, Patty was sad, lou and all the other guys were confused, and I was unhappy because I could of prevented this. I could of walked away at Dan's advances, I could of just lived my life single. But no, I had to ruin it for every one and go out w/ another one of my friends because I'm insecure about guys I dont know.

So the gang is together for a second time. I just need to recover from my idiotic decision makeing.

Who could think of a better time to write a blog when your soaking your belly button in salt water?

Started talking to Patty. Remeber how much I liked her b4 Dan started pumping his typical bull shit lies into my head. We shared our war stories and I'm gonna chill in the hizzo with her next time she comes back from college. Oh, Patty if you ish out there reading this we should form the AGAD (Angry Girlfriends Against Dan) Association.

In other news, chilled at Reibers today. Busted some moves on hte ddr pad after not playing for 4 days from hurting my foot. Need to work on my reflexes again *sighs*. I didn't go to work because I didnt have my car (lou wouldn't let me drive after haveing a beer). Told the office my parents wouldnt let me out because of the weather (after all the shiza I did yesterday, I deserve a day off). Left early from Reiber's house because of the roads being all iced up from the rain.

Back to Dan, Andrew wants me to have a conversation with him on the phone. Told him I had my conversation, I got my information, and there is nothing more to talk about. What else am I going to say? "Hi shit face!You fucked with my head dont talk to me again!Have a nice day!". No that was last night.

In other news, I need to work on my costume for the I-con competition in March (suposed to do that tommorow). That and I need a warm day to cook my sculpty hair sticks (freakin ass numbing coldness).

Thats about all for now. Untill next time:

A Earth Dragon-you are clam and peaceful most of
the time Until u get pissed off


*What Kind of Dragon are u?*
brought to you by Quizilla

oh!Before I forget, I'm makeing a new design for this page....just need to fidn a decent free serve that will support file's on other sites (unlike tripod and angelfire, saitans bastard children). Ta ta for now and remember.....

dont fuck with me...k??^^

Dansoc144 (12:36:34 AM): let me prove everyone thats saying its a bad idea wrong
DragonAngelN6 (12:36:47 AM): lol
DragonAngelN6 (12:36:52 AM): go right ahead
Dansoc144 (12:37:13 AM): i mean give me a chance to prove them wrong that me and you going out is a bad idea
Dansoc144 (12:37:50 AM): i seriously need you Nina please please please give me one more chance
DragonAngelN6 (12:38:14 AM): ohhh, sure
DragonAngelN6 (12:38:27 AM): just dont touch me, ok?
Dansoc144 (12:38:41 AM): i wont even think about it
DragonAngelN6 (12:39:07 AM): and um, your right on my shit list next to my last ex bf
DragonAngelN6 (12:39:16 AM): that pull this shit on me
Dansoc144 (12:39:42 AM): Nina can i please call you i can't deal with typing, i knwo its late but please
DragonAngelN6 (12:39:48 AM): no
DragonAngelN6 (12:39:58 AM): we're going ot do it my way
DragonAngelN6 (12:40:05 AM): you skrewed up, we do it my way
DragonAngelN6 (12:40:10 AM): ok?
Dansoc144 (12:40:11 AM): ok
Dansoc144 (12:40:18 AM): we'll do it all your way
DragonAngelN6 (12:40:37 AM): first off, dont touch me unless you want your fucking arm snapped
DragonAngelN6 (12:41:06 AM): because if I can lift a 190 pound woman when Im pissed I can break your fucking arm
Dansoc144 (12:41:35 AM): ok i promise i won't touch you
DragonAngelN6 (12:42:42 AM): second,I can send this shit all over the internet
DragonAngelN6 (12:42:56 AM): and put you back in isolation again
Dansoc144 (12:43:10 AM): i know
DragonAngelN6 (12:43:26 AM): also, I sudgest looking for another gf
DragonAngelN6 (12:43:41 AM): because I'm seriously ticked
DragonAngelN6 (12:44:13 AM): If my parents werent sleeping and if I had a safe space ot punch a wall I would
Dansoc144 (12:44:16 AM): that i can't do, but i won't touch you or make any advances
Dansoc144 (12:45:35 AM): anything else cause i need to talk to someone before i explode
DragonAngelN6 (12:45:52 AM): talk to patty again and I'll kill you
Dansoc144 (12:45:57 AM): i was talking about my mom
DragonAngelN6 (12:46:08 AM): I know
Dansoc144 (12:46:09 AM): i need to vent so i'm going to tell her everything
DragonAngelN6 (12:46:16 AM): ok
Dansoc144 (12:46:21 AM): cause i'm about to burst into tears
DragonAngelN6 (12:46:32 AM): yea, now you kow how it feels
Dansoc144 (12:46:40 AM): i deserve that
DragonAngelN6 (12:47:07 AM): honestly, the shit you pulled on me
DragonAngelN6 (12:47:15 AM): I really hope you had your fun
Dansoc144 (12:47:26 AM): i had no fun
Dansoc144 (12:48:18 AM): anything else you can think of now
DragonAngelN6 (12:48:40 AM): just watch your ass


For future referance. And to all you guys out there who plan on dateing me, fuck with me and I'll fucking break your spine.

That is all!^^

Back to confusion and mistrust.

Dan's been swearing he'll never lie to me again. Of course I don't beleive a word he's saying (I dunno if I should consider this bad or good). I can understand he wouldn't tell me he was going to hang out w/ his x gf for fear of me dumping him, but back massages, hanging out untill the early morning, and going for lunch as well as bumming our night together on new years to hang out w/ her and a few of her friends is extremely, extremely suspicious. Even if it was harmless, why do it if he knew I'd get ticked at him.

Things don't seem to fit in. Especially w/ his brother and his brother's gf backing up my suspicions (and the info from other people) I don't beleive a word. Unfortunetly, I still love him and the allure of being in his arms again makes me happy and gives me a feelign of completion, and then brings me back down just thinking of how things are going to be once she comes back. Even then, how long before he just starts lieing again?

I haven't seen many people change. My uncal tryed changeing a guy who robbed him only to have his entire house stripped. My aunt tryed to change her x husband only to have him abuse her and try to steal my cousin (almost killing them both in a car crash). I tryed to change lots of guys I went out with only to just have my heart broken and end up alone and depressed.

Maybe I should just forget it and walk away. But then again, where am I going to find some one I can trust?