All this pressure.

I have so much work to do and I dont even know if its worth the work.
Cooper Union hates me. Every time I gather up the strength and my ambition and go over there for a review, even if I get lost or delayed, I always get shut down miserably. I mean, I can deal with constructive criticisim, but when you tell me my work has no meaning and that I just "vomit" it out because it looks good shatters you. Those words have haunted me since they flew out of the reviewers mouth.

I practicaly broke down into a sobbing in Andrew's car because I got so nervous. I started getting nurotic at Gemma's and began getting depressed. I started smothering Dan pathetically. I couldn't even play a game of monopoly because I suck. Im so afraid of starting this thing. I don't want my heart and soul crushed again. I dont know what to do. Im such a pathetic little bitch. I wish I knew what was wrong with me.

Feliz Navidad mis amigos!

Tis the season to run my ass around the house getting it ready for relatives. Thats right, these two days (a little less today) I've been running around fixin up the house because my sister has a severesinus infection. My mom is currently cooking the 19 pound turkey my grandmother mistakenly baught (she was supposed to get a 13 pound one).

Tonight should be interesting seeing that we are going to squeeze 18 people in our little one floor house. My japanese aunt is bringing karioke cd's for our karioke machine and I'm pluggin the ddr in my parents tv in their room. This could deffenetly be one of the most jolly of christmases ever!^^

Now if you'll excuse me, it is off to Dan's I go! *zoom!*