Can't sleep, tummy is full of chicken nuggets and I read something that unsettled me.

Im slowy comeing out of the depression but I'm still fluxuateing in and out of it. My mom has been talking about maybe moveing (where?hopefuly around here). Trying to trust Dan more. When I mean trying I mean walking a tight rope of doom. He says he knows what he wants and what he wants is me... I guess I'm to pesimistic and have such a bad self image to beleive it. Or maybe it's the fact he is never clear to patty on the phone. I dont know. Every time I think about it I get sick in the stomic. Maybe becuse I know I've fallen in love with him even though I tryed not to because I was afraid history might repeat itself.

I just don't know any more. My mind is more messed up then a toppled jenga tower. I want to be with him and I'm happy I am with him but this fear in my gut drives me insane. I've never gotten this afraid or lost this much amount of sleep over the though of a relaionsip failing. Not to mention the fact that I have to go to Nassau and breaking the news to my teachers will probably get me shunned. I hate being this afraid. I hate being this depressed. I want to know what happened to the old me, fearless, with a "who gives a fuck" attitude. I really am a pussy. A huge fucking pussy as well as a failure.