I was informed last night that my best friend has disapeared.No one knows where she went all we know is that she left a note saying she'd be back on Monday.All this I found out Friday right after we found out my other friend's dad had a heart attack.
Today I'm still feeling the mixed emotions of being pissed/worried.I have to put them aside though so they dont interfere with driving (I get my first driving lesson today....on a wet slippery road with bad shit going through my mind).This should be interesting.

You know what,Im sick of putting on this mask of happyness.
Im constantly the happy bubbly one,
Im the one people can take their anger out on and not regret it,
Im the small little shell of a human being...
I sit,I listen,I greive...
then I get trampled on after all the emotion I put into every thing,
I hate people,
No one listens to me,
No one respects me,
It's just a constant trample of proverbial feet opon my battered shell of a body,
of a soul...

My mom basically told me that I have never had a steady bf in my life and my little sister (the beautiful talented one) has had many lovely succesful relationships.A friend of mine basically told me he was ready to die (which pains me so because of how much I care for him).I relise more and more that one of my best friends is stabbing me right in the heart and stepping on my spine (and then laughing at my mangled corpse).Why is it that every one is hurting me?Is it my own parinoia?I dont think so...although it could be part of it....but theres too much other things that have come b4 my parinoia...........
I have to stop talking,Im makeing myself cry again.
22 more days of school...then what?

It's been a while...seriously!
I admit,Im in one of my more humble,depressing moods today.My friend was talking about how if I went out w/ Tom,and my other two friends went out and he stayed w/ my sister it would be a perfect world.Two seconds afterwards they broke up but then they got back together...thus proving that the world is NOT perfect (but its damn close).22 more days of school left (wee!summer!) and I got alot of shit to do!Which is why Im now leaving you w/ your quiz of wisdom:

The girl next door, through and through! You have a kind heart and a good sense of right and wrong. Your down-to-earth nature doesn't allow yourself to become swayed by petty distractions. Your pretty face and a sweet soul draws admiration and respect from everyone around you! Do be cautious that you don't become blinded by your morals and ideals. Sometimes, to get along with others, you must be willing to compromise and offer a little understanding. Which Love Hina Girl Are You?