Still can't shake off this sorrow.

I feel like I'm falling into a deep hole. I managed to eat lunch yesterday, and then suffered severe stomic pains later on. I don't feel like moveing, or seeing any of my friends. I don't want to call Dan but I want to, and I dont want to see Dan but inside me I am wishing to be back in his arms again. I'm slowly decaying. My sister keeps telling me to just let him go. If my brain didn't constantly try and problem solve, and if my heart wasn't so foolish, I'd probably never fallen into this mess.

I tryed playing ddr yesterday. It kept my mind off every thing for a short while. Then I began thinking about it all again and I lost my interest in it. I also was going to go out with my friend Ann yesterday, but I got this ugly feeling in my gut and told her I wasn't up to going out.

I still keep hearing his voice pleading with me. At first I thought it would help me get over him, but it just makes me sader and lonlier. I haven't gone a day w/out crying. My brain is so jumbled and confused. I know every thing is 1 vs. 20 but I still keep trying to weigh every thing in his favor. Why can't every thing go back, back b4 I suspected him messing around, back to when we first slept together. When I was happy and secure.